Not so First Class

My darling Rock,
It is with my warmest regards and deepest love that I write you today and hope this letter finds you well and full of your usual vim and vigor. It is with a heavy heart that I send this shattering news to you, and do not wish to tell you in this way, but since you will not tell me of your current shooting location, I am left with no other way to confess my recent indiscretion. Do not hate me for being weak, but last night, during his upcoming Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory trailer, I shared a moment with Johnny Depp. It was kismet for us. The chemistry we share and joint love of chocolate was noticeably undenighable. As I stopped in mid-chew, starring into his mocha colored eyes, K1 turned to me when me missed the sound of my Whopper chomping jaws. I paid no attention to my sons questioning, "Mom, you ok?", as I sat now silent as Johnny gazed back at me, Whopper drool gathering at the corners of my gaping mouth. Thinking I was choking, K1 started pounding me on my back to dislodge the sugary mass he imagined caught in my throught, causing me to drop the tasty unfinished mega box of goodness. Unable to tear my eyes of Johnny's luscious face, I aloud my sweet treasure to bounce down the theaters floor unheeding my 4 second food on the floor recovery rule. (Usually this rule is 5 seconds on the floor food lasts before gathering too many crunchy unknowns, but in a public place it goes down to 4 seconds- depending on the location and food item). Alais, our time together last night was way to short for my liking. I do not wish to hurt you by telling you of my infidelity, but want only to be honest with you to maintain the integrity of our relationship. I cannot promise you I will never crave this feeling again. Or if Johnny is sent to treatment here at the famous rehabilitation center nearby me that I will not sneak into his room with the family sized squirt bottle of Herseys and slurp slurp slurp bwla blwa hwa hwa......But I digress. My Rock you are my true heart and you will have my undying love forever. I hope this is but a passing phase were I am only attracted to his metro sexual substance abusing good looks and the freaky sexual energy of a mad candy gueniss but I can not promise. I will save all my hot munkay luvin for you. I await you answer and in the mean time have been hanging out at all the barber shops in the vicinity trying to find were you are filming your upcoming movie. Gay hair stylist my candy lovin ass.
Love and chocolate kisses,
Munkay-pie